she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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