I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
