Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She's the barista slut.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
