You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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