I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
