oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
This baby is an asshole
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
