David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
