i think my tv is drunk
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
