I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
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