im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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