Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
