its not stalking. its research.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
