Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
