Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
