Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
