the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize
