I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
i think im in europe. pls send help
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
