I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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