dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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