Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
