I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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