I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Sober January is a disaster.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
