Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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