it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
fuck your aforementioned shoe
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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