just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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