3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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