He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
