Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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