what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
bring money and cleavage
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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