If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize