i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
