Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
