he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
