Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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