So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
