he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm having to shit out rocks
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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