dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
