I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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