We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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