Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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