Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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