She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
