I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
