can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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