he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
