I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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