A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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