As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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