I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
im holly from the hills drunk
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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