I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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