I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize