I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
