His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
