Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
