you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
