Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize