I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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