I love black thongs
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
smell my finger.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
