stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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