Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
