I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I am available for nakedness
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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