capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
