i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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