Rock
Scissors
Fuck
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Alive.
So much puke
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
