I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
