sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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