Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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