Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize